CFL Week 7 View from the Rafters

Week 7

Awww Sheeeeet, Week 7 Round up!

The Loose Ends VS Victorious Secret

Again! Stupid Defense. And Seattle of all D’s. Ugly week for Shane, as most players saw less than projected point totals outside of Watkins.  V Secrets saw good point production from Wallace, Cobb, and the Special Teams.  Highlight in this one has to be Demaryius Thomas, with 29.10 points 2 touchdowns and 171 yards. Even with shit RB production, the Secrets pulled the Schwarzenegger Secret and just relied entirely on FLEX.

Only Foles Rush In VS The Big Gronkowski

My fault BGs, I thought leaving out a Kicker and Defense was due to absent-mindedness.  After this weeks showing, I have to assume it was some whacky game of fantasy-chicken that just didn’t pan out.  Maybe go back to that, because this week was even more depressing, what with all those active players filling their intended positions.

                                                                                         Assholes

I can’t harp on the Gronks too much, they did have a good showing from their kicker. Which is hilarious.

Only Foles won a game! Yayyy! Smartly kept the Roethliscopter on who contribute 16.90, and Forte kept chugging with 22.90. Other than these two, there were no big contributors for the Foles, but when you’re up against a 51.20 total, you could do a lot of wrong and still get it right.

Suicidal Bunnies vs Emma’s Peachs 

Whoa.  An unusual game for the Bunnies with sad production from the majority of his group.  Luck did his thing, but in comparison to other Luck outings, he was shit.

                      
                                     Oh my god, win again soon, seeing a bunny cry is way too depressing.

On a less ‘cut’-y side of things, the Peachs had a few good souls decide to make rabbit stew this week, apparently fuelled by the above picture.  Brees won the QB position, while Bryant, McKinnon, and Olsen contributed enough to get Emma into the winner’s realm!

Plaxico’s Thigh VS Evil Equestranauts

Like the Bobbum Men last week, the Thighs took the entire concept of failure out back and shot it repeatedly.  Outside of Jackson, every position put up big numbers. Which makes me to assume the team is set up something like this:

Everyone save for Jackson is under, over, and all around the hood.  See Jackson?  He’s that front right flat tire.  Maybe it’s time to get a spare.

The Evil E’s had a disappointing week which looked better than it really was.  Manning and Tate had huge games, but they would have both had to have score 8 more TDs, ran the equivalent of a marathon and shived the rest of Plaxico’s team in order to have a chance this week with such poor representation from the rest of their roster. Tough loss Evil E’s!

Leather and Lacy VS Touchdown Syndrome

I think they made a movie about this matchup?

                                         

        

Man! .022 ekes the Leather over the Syndromes! This matchup saw Wilson completely obliterate St Louis with 37.12, and then sit grumpily on the sidelines to watch the rest of the roster completely fuck this one up for him.  Really, any one of the 6 other players just had to sneeze, and the momentum would have carried them the extra yardage to win this one.  Especially tough to swallow here, is Bernard’s 1.60 outing following the 20+ he got last week.  That has to sting.

Leather and Lacy took it with nothing amazing, no massive 6 TDs, pirouettes,or whatever Smith’s version of Tebowing is. Just several players meeting their projections.  Unfortunately, Bryant, Wayne and Walker had stinkers point-wise, but whatever! Game won!

The Bobbum Men vs The Crew Sluts

Remember that lewd comment made by the Loose Ends last week? about the quadriplegic 9 year old? This matchup provides us an opportunity to appreciate perspective.  Sure, that quaddy (Is that an offensive term? I’m abbreviating) has it rough, but he can still move his face.  And if he saw this matchup, he’d probably value that there are some things that can still make him laugh.

 

                                                  

                                                              Hahaha.  Also, I’m superman.

Bobbum didn’t have his best week, but he didn’t need it.  He could have had his worse and still come out with a sizeable lead.  Bell, Murray and Rodgers were basically the best 3-way out there, and helped Bobbum make his way to #1.

Manager of the week:  Emma’s Peaches -  Well played!  Many would be anxious of the Bunny, making weird wire pick ups, dropping solid players, trying to squeeze water from a rock, but you took him head on and came out on top!

Manager of the weak: The Big GronCrew Slutskies! Hurray! You both sucked this week!